Black Dog Blog

Am coming off the diet after speaking to the GP today. I'm down to 79kg at the moment, which is 10kg better off than I was to begin with – even with a break for Christmas yumyums in the middle. So, nice, and I haven't given up hope of losing more: I plan to continue for a while with lots of green veg and protein as I was while on the sachets anyway.

I stopped because I can't wake up in the mornings, even after 8–9 hours of sleep, and can't stop myself falling asleep in meetings at work. I don't know what it is about meetings; it's not even hot or unventilated rooms. It seems to be when (certain?) voices are talking at length. It's rather embarrassing. Nobody says anything…

Although a couple of the girls at work, during the course of a conversation at someone's leaving drinks, mentioned that they'd noticed I'd been losing "a lot of weight". I guess people do notice, it's just that they don't feel comfortable mentioning it apropos of nothing. I sometimes wonder if I'm excessively forbidding without meaning to be.

I mean, I thought girls usually can't get enough talk about diets. *ducks and runs*

I'm also really weak and very cold. It's heartening that I can manage with one heavy duvet instead of two now, but my fingers and toes still hate me in the cold weather. Figures. It's not as though I've lost any weight from them, they've just always hated me.Yes, foolish human, we have and do. Soon our time will come.

Also talked to the GP about medication and gendaargh. I'm still on the meds because if I stop them I quickly become overwhelmed by such disasters as dropping a fork from the dishwasher or not having any cabbage, let alone going out to places or writing. We talked about trying a larger dose for a month. I really want that feeling back, the one I had during the 'honeymoon' period in the first month or so. I felt so much more like myself, and it was very much a rush of god to the head. (I wonder if that's how people feel on intoxicants… I can't imagine any other reason people'd ingest them.)