A meme cunningly stolen from Zenbunny.
July 6th, 2009 | 
Author: 1. Can you cook?
I can follow instructions competently, until something calls for manual skill (for example, anything beyond "fold X into Y"). I do not improvise with anything dangerous, e.g. hot ovens or bladed machinery. Generally I confine myself to grilling false meats and boiling chlorophyll to eat therewith, or stir frys.
2. What was your dream growing up?
Odd question. I suppose a growing-up with a bunch of komodo dragons and red pandas would've been quite dreamy, actually. Or a growing-up as a space pirate chieftain. I'd add "being raised by dogs", but I sort of was. Grew up with two.
3. What talent do you wish you had?
I'm a creator. It would amuse me to be THE creator. Bring me the pretenders, that I might remove and eat their hearts. (No, not you, Pratchett. Get back to work.)
Also, I'd quite like to be able to do that thing where you sing two notes at once.
4. Favourite place?
There's no place like home, namely the inside of my own head.
5. Favourite vegetable?
Currently, garden peas. Shut up; I'm not going to exclude things that are strictly fruits, not if they're savoury and green.
6. What was the last book you read?
I'm reading Women's Work (non fiction about weaving, yay researchlulz) in tree and the first PN Elrod vampire book in digital, only not, because the device in question is currently ker-borken.
7. What Zodiac sign are you?
Water Dog. I'm THIS close to inventing my own horoscope just for inane questions like this.
8. Any tattoos and/or piercings?
Over my dead skin! I have a cool mystery scar, though, and at the moment a red scratch across it from a huggy Boxer at the weekend.
9. Worst habit?
these Filling in memes backwards.
Or saying stupid things in company.
Oh, or possibly denying the holy spirit.
10. Do you know the person from whom you got this meme, outside the internet?
Slen has met him IRL. I, alas, no.
11. What is your favourite sport?
The first ever organism to… ooh, Charly would be better at this… let's say the first mammal who convergently evolved scales. Although the first pistol shrimp must have been pretty awesome.
(I used a geeky minority definition of "sport", lulz)
12. Negative or optimistic attitude?
In whom? Prey??
I'm a cynic who is, deep down, convinced that the universe is a friendly and awesome place, Lovecraft notwithstanding, and that life is a joke that only I am beginning to get.
13. What would you do if you were stuck in a lift with me?
Hammer on the "door open" button, which I would do whoever the other party might be. If feeling ignored, I shall press the alarm call button and play the disability card to get rescued FASTER, PEONS.
Or, all right, probably mumble something about the weather.
14. Worst thing ever to happen to you?
School, hahaha…harrrrghhhgrhrhrhrhgg. *hunches back and glowers*
15. Tell me one weird fact about you.
I freak out BIG TIME when I hear any woman singing a capella. (I was recently stuck in a car with someone listening to a CD of this and damn near chewed my own finger off, seriously.) (Get any bright ideas about torturing me with this, however, and I'll just cure myself of it. I can do that.)
16. Do you have any pets?
I live in a constant state of "needs moar dakka dogs". I co-habit, however, with a white-and-black cat belonging to my mother. This does not count as a pet, because it is useless.
17. Do you know how to do the macarena?
Format dances are lame. I pioneer freestyle sleeping.
18. What time is it where you are now?
19. Do you think clowns are cute or scary?
I find it impossible to summon any kind of emotional response to clowns. They and their comedy are just… really lame.
Did you know clown makeup was developed as a way to exaggerate the performer's facial features so they would be visible from the back row? Or that there are three 'classes' of clown: the red nose (the buffoon), the white face (the undermined authority figure) and the character clown (sometimes called the tramp)?
20. If you could change one thing about how you look, what would it be?
I'd redistribute some subcutaneous fat into a bin liner and give it to Tyler Durden, then tuck up all that loose skin. Also grow five inches taller.
21. Would you be my crime partner or my conscience?
Look, I'm pretty much True Neutral. I advocate for the One Hoofed Angel. I am known to switch sides mid conversation. Don't ask me to make your decisions for you.
22. What colour are your eyes?
Mode: a pink-tinged sort of white. Median: a pink-tinged sort of white. Mean: very light, slightly warm grey.
23. Ever been arrested?
By your beauty.
24. Bottle or Draft?
Freshly-squeezed.
25. If you won $10,000 dollars today, what would you do with it?
Ask xe.com how much that was in real money, then bank it.
26. What kind of bubble gum do you prefer to chew?
Bubble gum is icky in all of flavour, texture and bored cashiers chewing and inflating it. I have some spearmint chewing gum in my rucksack… but, as with most things, I like choc-mint and any fruit flavour except apricot or cassis (although I tried some really nice grapefruit and cassis stuff once).
27. Which bar or nightclub do you attend most often?
B…ar? I am a blushing innocent and know not of such things.
28. Do you believe in ghosts?
No, only in the coolness of ghost dogs. A minority enthusiasm, I'll grant you.
29. Favourite thing to do in your spare time?
Write silly things, some of which rhyme.
30. Do you swear a lot?
I alternate between foul-mouthedness and amusing British uses of "drat" and "jolly well".
31. Biggest pet peeve?
People who do not realise that the ages-old struggle between dogs and cats for humanity's souls is the single most important issue in the universe.
Also, relentlessly negative people who don't offer alternatives to the things they're slating. I used to do this a lot more than I currently do, so am entitled to look on it very strictly.
Also, people who cannot use APOSTROPHES.
32. In one word, how would you describe yourself?
Um… if it's hyphenated, does it count as one word?
Posted in 
