How are the bitey fallen! Since when are vampires reduced to angsty objects of lust for teenage girls, asks BBC Magazine?

Some amber with an unusual payload.

Pretty welding sparks.

"Hurrah, we've just accidentally dug into a magma chamber!" Oh, geologists. <3

Fascinating thing here about a follow-up to Milgram.

I thought spending my life with my foot in my mouth was bad...

Advice on chip pan fires has been changed.

Conifer pruned into plum pudding

Disappointing news. Cedric the Tassie devil, considered the best hope for his species because he seemed to be immune to the face cancer that's killing them, has developed tumours.

Winter medical myths 'debunked'

Mermaids! <3 Beautiful things.

Oi, hands off me beaver!

Sexy Muslim underwear. NO CONNECTION TO PREVIOUS ARTICLE COMMENTARY.

I want a robot. Do you too? So why aren't they selling them yet? Because, as this thing shows, they can't get anything about them right... except their names. And the cool ones of those are going fast!

The psychology of crying. Tear ducts are awesome. Psychology isn't, at least at this superficial level.

Now this really is awesome! Single virus used to convert adult cells to stem cells. There's a lot more to it, so read the full article if you think protein-making is just the coolest.

Mourn.

And feel grateful I don't post a maudlin Bagpuss quotation.

Postgate's work was dreamy, safe, surreal, gentle and top-notch in quality terms. Bagpuss was one of my favourites growing up. We won't see his like again. That sort of wonderful, subtle stuff doesn't get commissioned these days.

Scientists in Austria say they have found a basic form of jealousy in dogs. WOW, SCIENCE. If you discover a social animal that doesn't feel jealousy, that'd be news!

Virtual world for Muslims debuts. (It's about more than religion, honest.) I wonder how long until it's raided... by channers or police...

Inside a US sex addiction clinic. "Have you ever tried... y'know... not having sex?"

I don't really need to tell you how sad I find that, as a happy and very relieved asexual.

Finally, awesome dog owner and sign language for the deaf... Dalmatian.

Ours knew sign language among other spoken languages. It's useful for signalling when they're too far away to shout, or when they get old and like to claim they're deaf (naming no names, Apricot!).

This woman was born a slave.

Today, 2 December, is International Day for the Abolition of Slavery. Obligatory plug for our Ethics of Slavery, which is rather good.

What a great job it must be to work on the News Magazine. They're running an article on the etymology of 'grooming' in the sense of preparing someone for something.

Voting apathy in my county is 'among the worst in the UK'.

How do you make money in these days of economic downturn? Why, sell ice cream to Siberians.

However, whatever you do, don't open a Lapland theme park. Unless it's not crap.

Ugh. Generations of babies are having Robbie Williams's Angels sung to them in their cradles. Am I the only person in the world who thinks that song is as shallow as a midge's spit and possessed of all the musical value of one of John Prescott's farts?

(Other musical tastes are available.)

You know those Indian crocodiles, right? The ones with long, thin snouts with bulbous ends. You must've seen one, even if you don't know they're called gharials. Anyway, they're dying off and nobody knows why. This is not awesome, especially not when it's from gout. I mean, who dies of gout these days?

First video clip contains amazing footage of an autopsy on an adult female. Second clip shows lots of babies!

More things of interest to animal-lovers and worldbuilders: measuring the bite of a Great White Shark. (1:26, what is that sitting behind him?)

They have trouble inducing the animals to bite their baited pressure-sensor, which, fair enough, does not look either tasty or seal-like. "This really shows us that [Great] White Sharks are not just animals that bite everyting ... it's not this incredible Pac-Man that bites everything. They're very cautious animals."

Would you press The Button? More importantly, would these former leaders? Interesting 'audio slideshow' here of the 1960s UK government nuclear bunker.

Can you make a living from art?

One Adelaide man FINDS OUT when his utility bills become due!

But the true answer is... yes!

Then again, they won't necessarily pay.

Race to save world's rarest wolf from Sarah Palin

'Assassin' cells created in lab to target HIV. This is awesome because although they're realistic about the likelihood that the virus will just mutate again, engineering killer T-cells that can recognise more than one form of it is still an exciting step.

Missing dog found in stolen car

Man jailed for kicking, punching and stamping on an 18-month-old

Old deaf and blind lady found tied to railway line

What happened to the idea of 'secular vicars'?

Monks brawl at Jerusalem shrine. I don't care who's lying; all of these idiots should be sacked.

Here's why they were squabbling, but I don't care. Seriously, don't give them the attention and legitimise their tantrums. I'd confiscate the building and turn it into a dogs' home-cum-community centre if I could, but failing that, the cane and bed without supper all round. You act like children and claim your imaginary friend told you to, you should face the consequences any child would. Won't happen, unfortunately, 'cos for some reason some imaginary friends are more socially acceptable than others.

Important news. The First Dog may be a goldendoodle.

Also, there was a bull terrier on the tram and it was awesome and probably against the conditions of carriage but I don't care and it was friendly and I stroked it and it had white spots. If anyone has a spare goldenbernard or rottweiler/alsatian cross, please send it here.

Rare pygmy hippo offers hope

Why is a four-octave vocal range so rare?

Probably because we evolved with midrange hoots, not to squeak stupidly highly...

Aggression linked to sadism, WOW SCIENCE.

Sting shows how to play the lute

Patients travel for proton therapy. This is awesome because protons can be targeted more accurately than the ionising radiation beams in conventional radiotherapy. Maybe because they weigh less than alpha rays (which are helium kernels and weigh four times more than protons, which are hydrogen kernels).

NEWSFLASH. Rain causes:

• end of world
• autism

Wow, science, do me, do me now.

Yay, the UK won a European league for something! Oh, wait. *sniggers*

America has a new president-elect, and most importantly, has a new vice president that isn't a drill-hungry wolf-murderess. Well done, our younger siblings, I'm proud of you.

Although baffled that 68% (ref, among others) is a record turnout; seems low to me, although I don't know the typical figures here in the UK.

Live updates are still coming through here.

The best story of the day, though, is: Nuns 'in Italy restaurant brawl'

One from Anke: Soup kitchen opens for dogs

Italy recycles seized Mafia assets

Hey Anke, ICE CHICKENS!

God, politics and the Kennedys

Gay blood donor appeal rejected

Fellas, seriously, campaign to change their minds by all means, but don't give blood anyway. Yes, I know it's dumb, because (unless I misremember) they test every donation for HIV anyway.

Supermarket campaign for ugly veg and ugli fruit

Christmas postage stamps, some without god-stuff

We have a film crew in Manchester at the moment for one of the new Sherlock Holmes films.

(Apologies, as ever, for patronising presenter and pointless vox pops and general lack of information.)

I can exclusively reveal lie that that giant doll in the background is going to be the scene of the final showdown.

If I can, I might head along to the Northern Quarter and see if I can see anything cool.

Awesome animal photography in the Wildlife Photographer of the Year 2008 competition.

Peru's shamans send US election vibes.

I don't want the US to get "the president it deserves". I want it to get the president that will do the rest of us the least harm.

'No God' campaign raises £140,000

Me and my swastika

Richard Dawkins embarrassed after death and subsequent resurrection. <3 Dawkins.

And finally, the terrific Snopes.com does Dracula.

Aww no! Audrey II has died.

If I wasn't doing so already, I'd sing Little Shop songs all week in memoriam.

Glasses Dog says "these pictures are concomitant with my interests"

Pedigree drops Crufts sponsorship

'Worrying' stray Staffie terriers trend

Parents in the US rent retired sniffer dogs to venture into their teenagers' bedrooms

edit: Oh, and I made a NetVibes page for a larf. I don't know what, if anything, I'm going to do with it. I read most feeds through Thunderbird.

(Hope this clip works outside the UK...) Lanca-shire horse retires from delivery job

Look at that big thing bounce! I'm absolutely terrified. :D

edit: One for Ree!

And more here that are pretty stunning, some of them.

When Islam meets Bridget Jones

I draw your attention first to the caption with prominent disclaimer under the photo: "Would you read this book? (Picture posed by model)" My colleagues and I have never seen such a disclaimer on a BBC page before.

Full props to Mohammad from Sunderland in the comments. And Mark from London with his dental analogies.

DEEP MELODRAMATIC SIGH. Omg, the zippy sock creature offended me.

First 'creative' game? What about people who mod the heck out of Dungeon Keeper, Quake, Elder Scrolls et al? Kheh.

Will closet racism derail Obama?

That's the first encouraging news I've heard from America in a while; apparently 90% of registered voters seem to think the country is on the wrong track. I was open-mouthed at some of the filth the article quotes from people like Foxaganda News and Lamebaugh. WTF, America? How old are you all?

Whatever, art. (I'd eat that temple.)

Autumn from space!

Alternative interfaces. Apologies for patronising presenter yet AGAIN.

Police looking for new sniffydoggies.

Commercial sniffydoggies achieve worldwide success. Good doggies.

Kidnapped BABIES returned. Aww! Good babies!

16-year-old dog survives 200ft fall from cliff. Good dog.

Dog rescued following cliff fall. Good dog, good owners.

Dog receives suspended death sentence. Bad owner.

UKIP politician's greyhounds win prizes. Good dogs.

edit: GOOD DOG! (photo)

Platitude of the Day's parody of Nesrine Malik's response to an article by AC Grayling. Best read in reverse order, or as you like.

Also, pretty.

Obama defents 'creationist psycho bitch' remark (language warning should be obvious, given that that's the headline)

No, chums, not really. The Daily Mash is (apparently) the UK's answer to The Onion. Still, one can bask in the glorious if onlys.

Changed my mind about a fundamental thing concerning the thing I'm working on, which is not a great idea as it's already two days late. I hope it works. I completed part of the bottom bit this morning. Various family members have needed the family computer over the last few evenings, which, yeah, not great. At least it's Friday now, so I have the weekend.

Indeed, the weekend looks like being completely taken up with art things. I'd like to get the thing done for CoworkerD (which will probably only be a head sketch, or series of three, but I have NEVER DONE A HEAD SKETCH BEFORE IN MY LIFE so that's no guarantee of anything). And will finish the fuzzbok picture really roughly because (apart from the fact that I told the recipient I would finish it), as I've said before, at some point I'm evilly going to take out the central figure and put in one of my own, thus making it a me-niverse picture with minimal effort. So it's worth shading the hairy people's fur.

Hopefully will have time for gaming with unbrother too.

I've been dreaming really random everyday things, like my mother letting the Professor (neighbouring cat) into the house, or noticing my brother's bed empty in the morning. They aren't details that would worry me or stick in my mind, which is the weird thing; it's more along the lines of "Didn't I see you petting him in the kitchen yesterday? Weird, must've dreamed it..." I know my dreams are always fundamentally unscary, but they aren't usually dirt boring. It's just so domestic, my dear, it's positively Canis lupus familiaris.

Well, why deny my roots, right?

I'm going through a few-months-long phase of mentally roaring "I'm going to rip your throat out!" at old memories that pop up and bother me. Assertive, see? It sort of partly works ok... except when I find myself muttering same under my breath. This is a point at which I should probably change tactics. And increase my meds.

Unrelatedly, I seem to be getting fanfiction somehow. (I don't mean the evil mindscrewy fluffy stuff I write when I'm bored, either.)

Also unrelated, lulz at the MTV Awards. The best bit is how the linked article... well, you'll see.

I have today added "unboxing" to my vocabulary. It's the geek equivalent of stripteases, in which people film themselves opening the boxes of their new gadgets and show the contents. Here's a new Samsung phone, for example.

I love Lemmings.

Take care all. Peace out.

P.S. "UP" IS NOT A VERB.

It seems like I haven't got to do the news for weeks. Here's a round-up (oh snap) of some dog (and other) stories from the last fortnight or so.

Sheepdogs flock to world finals

Apologies for the stupid patronising presenter in the clip. I do dislike it when presenters go "oh I know - instead of showing experts do this beautifully, I'll show myself doing it ineptly!"

Interesting here: pet disputes in divorces. (Ignore the random picture of celebrity with mutant dog. I think they just stick those in there to appeal to Nuts readers or something.)

'Miracle' puppy swallowed sucker arrow

Mystery husky found far from home

Swords turn buttheads into murderous buttheads. A "personality disorder that could not be treated"? Stop fannying around and section him.

Since the RSPCA withdrew from Crufts, the Kennel Club has complained to the BBC about the documentary that brought all this to public attention. I thought it was an excellent programme (see the clip in that article) so will be interested to see what happens.

Manners class for dogs and owners

Celebrities: "Plz to be not running over dogs with bikes." Thanks, celebrities!

Ruling allows guide dog in mosque

To prove I'm not above laughing at people in ridiculous outfits, here are the archbishops of Canterbury and York. Rowan is all "hah, I'z the alpha! You's the omega, bezotch!"

And a colleague just sent me this.

I would have named it Tailgate. As in the Tailgate scandal. Yes, I went there and there's nothing you can do about it.