Black Dog Blog

Archive for the ‘wushu’ Category

Somehow it's 21:55 now. I seem to have been all day editing and sorting photos, and I'd already started the job last week. Wow.

Slen and I booked last week off work to celebrate our unbrother Paul coming back from Ireland, go on loads of day trips and generally have ourselves a time. Well, the whole part where Paul was supposed to be with us didn't go according to plan, but Slen and I managed to do most of the activities I'd planned without his company—or his car.

Alton Towers, 2 June

Pirates are this year's thing at Alton Towers (site), the theme park in Stoke-on-Trent. They've opened a new themed area with battle galleons (which we considered, but it looked as though we'd get rather wet) and piratey shows and shops. These two swabs were found at the gift shop, where Slen also bought a swashbuckling t-shirt to wear at gigs. Yarr!

Also wonderful to hear was Slen bantering with one of the actors from the pirate show. I shall quote from memory.

Pirate (obviously noting Slen's long, unkempt hair and general dress sense): "Ye look like ye've just escaped someone's crew."
Slen: "Arr, I'm a mutineer and proud!"
Pirate: "Good, good. We need more like you around here."

Slen was wearing one of his T-shirts, which is black (of course it's black) and bears on the front, in pink Impact font, the message "Nobody knows I'm a lesbian". Slen is a man.

Pirate (seeing shirt): "Does nobody know that, then?"
Slen: "Aye, well, they do now."

We arrived early and got on Air, a newish rollercoaster, and also Nemesis, with minimal queueing. Queues and crowds were very slight all day, it being a school day.

On the Runaway Mine Train was what seemed to be a wedding party. Two of the girls, sitting ahead of us, were flirting with the operator… who proceeded to send us round four times. We found this awesome, but the young girl waiting at the head of the queue wasn't impressed. "We want to ride too, you meanies!" she shouted.

I got a picture of the pagoda from the Skyride cable cars. Here's Ripsaw, which we eschewed.

We went into the petting zoo for a while. They have a singing barn full of animatronic animals. Horsie and dog and horsie alone, taken with Altivo in mind. And the legendary singing hen—I'll let the captions on Flickr tell the story.

Since I last came, several years ago, they've turned the haunted house into a laser gun game. It's nowhere near as good. But check out the zombie and friend outside.

There were lots of ducks. (If you like mallards, here be more.)

Here are all the day's photos if you prefer to browse on your own or want to see what I've missed out.

Chester Zoo, 3 June

Best if you just look at the photos for this one. Our Chester Zoo trip

Our mother came with us on this trip and a good time was had by all. Tigers were fed in our view, as were lions, condors &c. A panda was distantly sighted. A plushie panda was bought, as was a black t-shirt with tigies on it (for gigs at which he doesn't play his pirate song, presumably). I got mad sunburn on my forearms, which is gently peeling even now.

In the evening we saw Sweeney Todd, the Sondheim musical. It was great. Loved the epic song at the end of Act 1, and also the opening of Act 2.

We didn't do anything on the 4th because of aforementioned difficulties acquiring transport and accomplice. (For the record, I'd planned Flamingo World in Yorkshire, with a production of The Sorcerer in the evening.)

Manchester, 5 June

In Manchester we saw the Lindow Man (wiki) at the Mancester Museum (site). Photography wouldn't have been welcomed, and besides, there wasn't much to see. You could spend some time listening to the audio interviews and reading the extra material. Honestly, though, it wasn't all that interesting (still, you can't beat the admission price).

Then we rushed off to Sportcity, which is a sporting arena and the Manchester City football club ground, to see the Chinese State Circus (site). They had a tent set up in the car park. It was a much smaller show, and less well attended, than I'd expected—but, again, it was a school day. We liked the Lion Dance, the diabolo handlers and the aerial silks.

The Monkey King ringmaster/announcer/clown was rather obviously miming along to pre-recorded dialogue, sometimes seeming to slip into miming the wrong language, which was cool because it made me wonder about all the other countries they must play in.

The wushu warriors were… good but brief. I recognised a lot of steps, but it was more of the showoff smashing of bricks and lying on spearpoints. I wanted to see more sparring and kicks! The beauty of the form was what made me fall in lub at first sight with this particular style of martial art. All in all it wasn't enough to make me want to take up classes again. (I quit because the instruction wasn't what I needed; not enough individual attention, and I just got nervous having to finish my kicks before the next guy could go. I wanted to learn, but in the end I don't find humiliation and stress fun in the slightest.)

We didn't have time to rush to the Lowry to see The 39 Steps stage adaptation, but that was ok because I had deliberately not booked tickets, not knowing when the circus would finish. Instead we went to the cinema and saw Doomsday (imdb), which is, well, completely freaking insane. Ha!

Birmingham, 6 June

On Friday we visited Cadbury World in Bournville. Cadbury World (site) is… chocolate themed. Very chocolate themed. It's part factory tour, part kiddy attraction.

Taking photos isn't allowed in the factory areas, but I got a few shots with bad flash in their 'history of chocolate' exhibition. Aztec calendar wheel, pirate ship (pirates are clearly the unofficial theme of this week) and fountain head thing.

These were in the shop. Just… what. :o (No, we didn't indulge.)

On the forecourt… was this thing. Rockin'.

In the evening we saw Return to the Forbidden Planet (wiki). It's a very, very awesome combination of Shakespeare, 1960s songs and campy sci-fi—honestly, I couldn't ask for anything more in a stage show.

A final note that all my photos on Flickr that are linked from this entry are licensed with a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial licence. (Or if they aren't, it's by mistake, so please let me know so I can change them.)

Hmm. I was organised last December. This year, not so much.

Been generally krank. Just the usual tiredness and brainfog. It's a bit scary to think how much less on-the-ball I am and how much my memory's degraded, so I don't think about it. Tremor hasn't been bothering me nearly so much – although it's still there. Word-finding difficulties getting worse. I'm having them at work as well as at home; normally I can limit my symptoms when talking to what my brain considers strangers, but not so well today.

As always, the word's on the tip of my tongue; I can see the shape of it. But as soon as I try to say it the resistance tends to infinity, forcing me to paraphrase or stop stone cold. This can happen with any key word in a sentence. It becomes more likely if I have to repeat the word.

Slen mocks me because I default to using the word "make" when I can't find a verb. :( (Suitov says not to worry and it's endearingly Germanic, or something.)

Oh, pshaw, this is boring. Sadly I have nothing else to say that isn't whiny either. Wushu went kinda okay last night. By this I mean I only screwed up once… and a couple of other times, and then took myself off to one side to practice the two crappy easy kicks that still eluded (and elude) my stupid dyspraxic self and let everyone else get on with things. Also, I'm scared of swords, and the staves make a loud noise that makes me panic. Don't worry, though, because I'll likely never be good enough to start weapon stuff.

And I'm having a minor spazz about my writing. Read the rest of this entry »

Beautiful Boxer with real ears and tail (YAY!), some kind of bull terrier, some yappy spaniels and/or terriers (I was tired, can't remember), a drop-dead Alsatian puppy, adult Alsatian, a Yorkie (who walked underneath the bench on which I was sitting last night) and I can't remember the rest.

Someone wandered in on me doing my leet wushu stretches yesterday. Hostel LOL. At least I was fully clothed and not in a mood to be embarrassed by my lack of physical prowess. And they wandered out again before I started practising the kicks, so yay.

Kate says thanks for the baby stuff my mum sent her. She's been in hospital for a few days (I couldn't find out what for from Margaret, but apparently nothing serious; Kate's pregnant and apparently they wanted to keep her in for observation. Not NHS LOL) so I've been treated by Margaret until today. Kate is better, at least in terms of telling me what she's doing and not letting me get so much gunk in my lower mouth that I start thinking I'm choking.

The lower right quarter of my mouth is immune to anaesthetic. THANKS MOUTH. OW. (I suspect it'll be something to do with the inflamed bone and unhappy gum beneath the badly cracked tooth. This was pointed out by the specialist who did my endoscopic root fills: he advised me to get it x-rayed in six months' time to check it's gone down.) (Otherwise my gums are in fantastic nick, according to the other dentist I saw back in England…) I'm a wimp, but, I'm told, very patient.

What else? No more grand excursions yet. I spent the first part of today in the hostel reading. I was too exhausted from a night of interrupted sleep and feeling a little unwell. (I'll say this and no more. If you're subsisting on dried fruit and juice, the results will be predictable.) Will try to get to the zoo. My camera charger is completely fucked, though, so probably no pictures of the tiger. >:(

I wonder where this Xmas market is, then.

Currently drinking: Cactus juice. No, really, that is what it says on the carton. It does taste kinda like dragonfruit, I guess.

Currently stuck in head: Dave Nachmanoff, Cactus Juice, and honestly, is there anyone who couldn't see that one coming? But it is mixed in with Power Quest's Soul Fire for galaxies reasons unknown.

Read since last update: Two Vlad Taltos books, Taltos and Yendi; going for chronological order this time. Oh Cawti, you so nawti.

Currently reading: The second Aberystwyth book, Last Tango. What the Butler Saw LOL.

Currently hoping: That I won't end up with a thing for ladies in stovepipe hats. That really would be unhelpful.

"This pornographic film-related article is a stub. You can help Wikipedia by expanding it" Oh, Wikipedia.

Platitude of the Day is positively savage this morning.

I have nothing to add. It's pretty much perfect.

Here's the story and some background on the religious aspects. Readers' views (I espeically like "The teacher was misguided, whereas the children were malicious. They must be brought to answer for their blasphemy").

Kicking-at-the-air-and-missing went a little better last night. I've got a t-shirt, yay. I'm also a pathetic excuse for a physical, animate being, I panic when there's nobody in front of me to watch or anyone behind me waiting for their turn, and my sodding hips turn too much. In short, yay for balance and coordination! (Which are, more or less, the object of the exercise. Ability to pound idiots into a pulp is a far more distant goal.)

I've got next week booked off work, and hope I can limp on until then. It was to be dentist time, but that's now happening in early December instead. I've wisely kept the time booked for general crashing instead of cancelling the leave.

No word yet on any appointment with the neurologist to whom I've been referred, but I am told that I've been marked 'soon' (less frightening for the patient than 'urgent', I assume) and so will bypass any waiting list.

The more I think about it, the more I realise I haven't been right for a long time; not only the last couple of months, which is how long I've been getting rapidly worse. The more I think about it, the more I remember this pansy-ass tremor emerging even while I was at uni, and realise just how long my brain has really been fogged. Thus, I don't think about it.

More kicking-the-air-and-missing last night (i.e. wushu), and superceded all my previous frustration at my uselessness. I, Mir. Textbook Dyspraxic 1982–present, tend to feel it is most unfair when movesets, activities or life require the controlled movement of two limbs at the same time, never mind their intersection at some point. Let me tell you, I'm lucky if I can slap my foot on the upswing one time in ten, and that's without worrying about keeping straight instead of flailing wildly or about recovering from said manoevre without falling on my arse.

If you've never remoted into someone with dyspraxia, and I don't blame you, just think about how coordinated is the average small child who's just learning to walk, and imagine all the 'cute' 'bumbling' persisting until the kid is 25. More specifically, you can learn to do the aforementioned manoevre and if you really thrash at it it will sink gradually into muscle memory, but first it will take you half an hour of solid, frustrating practice to connect once. (It also helps that as soon as I peripherally spot someone glancing my way, or anyone says "That's good, Herms!", I can be relied upon to fuck up royally. Like black-clad clockwork.)

Thus and thereby, it is with great pride that I conclude that I am the student with the most potential for improvement they've ever seen. This is a fairly safe bet. And I'm told fairly regularly that my kicks, balance and coords are improving fast. At the very most pessimistic, this means I'm not so much of a pest that they don't want my money.

Two wushu lessons down, my hip really doesn't like me. Nor does my tremor. Let's not even ask my sense of balance. My worst enemy, however, is as ever my charming self, who really seems to delight in messing up the crappy easy movement I'd been practising all week as soon as something unexpected and disastrous happens, like someone else being in the room. Epic fail.

On the upside, my weight is fluctuating downwards again. I'm not doing anything different, I don't think. Maybe this amount of variance is normal.

Finally got blood tests done on Tuesday morning and, with any luck, will soon be told that something not-too-serious, easily-fixable and not-imaginary is wrong with me. Somethings suggested so far (not by medical personnel) include B12 deficiency.

The range of diseases that can cause tremors, muscle weakness and confusion includes some real nasties. If it was a choice between pansy bloodlessness on the one hand and something horrible and demyelinating or metastatising on the other, I know what I'd be hoping for. However, let's not panic just yet. Maybe it's only, er, an inner ear infection combined with spontaneous subcutaneous ice formation? Or better yet, psychosomatic and curable by teaching myself to think about butterflies or PHP.

Drupal user group meeting tonight. I'm going to ask them if what I want to do can be done with it.

From what I understand of the documentation, the most difficult thing may be that I want users with switchable sub-users [edit: expanded in next entry]

Also some features associated with collaborative authorship (such as co-written sections – ideally with the option to attribute per paragraph) and lots of other things I haven't thought of yet.

Current music: Angra, Wishing Well, in head. It's all Ayreonnish.