Black Dog Blog

Archive for July, 2007

Nnnyeah, so I have a feeling one bit or another of today's commentary will get me flamed. Nevertheless, rants away and damn the torpedoes!

My Action Moses came with more plastic bulrush lasers than yours!

Know why Transformers and so on are more popular than Bible action figures? Cannier marketing yes, but also… Characterisation. Storytelling. The more I read about the bible, the more I realise how nonsensical it all is.¹ That is, I knew the beliefs and reasoning were nonsensical to me, but never realised the narrative was too. Never mind the simplistic religious-right good-vs-evil claptrap; they'll have had to read very selectively indeed to ignore all the times innocent people arbitrarily get murdered and mutilated, the questionably guilty get punished out of all sane proportion, god's chosen get cursed for obeying god because nobody hired a continuity editor², etc. Maybe volume 2 makes more sense; I don't know, only having read Revelation. (Curiously anticlimactic.)

I'm cool with people who regard the bible as great (fictional) literature, but disagree. Historical and linguistic value only for me. But then, other people dislike Jane Austen and like LOTR, and I don't bomb them either. Clearly the OT isn't meant as any sort of moral lesson, it being so self-evidently morally contemptible, so I don't judge it on that basis.

¹ Same goes for Transformers, to be fair. However, when people try to affect the running of my country based on the claim that these shapeshifting robots are real and coming to Earth, then I'll bother with them as much as I do with the invisible magic friend squad. (If anyone has Decepticon Chick tracts, please share with the class!)
² <injoke> Kristin Voumard! </injoke>

US pigeons to get contraceptives

'Terrorist musical' under attack

Instantly makes me want to go and see it, of course. Laughing at these people is the best medicine — hence why I idolise Monkey Dust…

The first gene contributing to left-handedness, as well as some other stuff, has been found.

Obesity triggers the same sort of in-built disgust mechanism as disease.

"Human beings have been given powers of reason, so people can overcome the discrimination." (Dr Colin Waine, chairman of the National Obesity Forum).

Yes, but can I just put in that we lardarses also need to lose weight. Going the other way and fetishising fat is supremely unhelpful; this sort of thing frankly creeps me out, as does all brainless prejudice. (Horribly catchy, though.) Anyway. Yes, you stop demonising people with diseases, but you combine it with treatment.

And I would've said this before managing to lose a lot of weight, too. I never thought I was studly; I was just mired in enough depression not to care. (And I'm still obese if you go by height and weight, though not if you discount all the loose skin.)

Meme from Erin, because if there's one thing I can't resist, it's talking about my damned characters. (And reading about other people's, in many cases.)

1. Choose up to five of your own characters.
2. Make them answer the following questions.

Read the rest of this entry »

Grans, not grandpas, 'extend life'

More than half the story is frantic iterations of "but grandpas are really cool; they're valued societally if not genetically". Yeah. We get it. We can make our own minds up. Sheesh.

This is all we can get funding for nowadays. Depressing.

'Space arrow' to map Earth's gravity

Medici hunks for Zenbie.

Instant steam could banish MRSA

World owes the USA a debt, says Brown

We certainly owe 'em something, after all their contribution to how safe the world is these days.

Many Asians 'do not feel British'

Talking about instant steaming, here's an issue that gets me to boiling point pretty quickly. 'Britishness' – professionalism, manners, English accent and so on, which is what I assume it to mean here – is not a white preserve. It is a characteristic of people who live in the UK, rather than South Asia, which this isn't. I really dislike the term "coconut"; it's frigging racist against both whites and Asians, hateful and more than a little bitter (I know someone who gets called a coconut because she – gasp – went to uni, did journalism and wants to work for the BBC).

In a completely irrelevant aside, it's also a damned confusing term given that coconut meat is one of my recent snacking favourites. I'm tetchy about eating things that are named after, or look like, people. We used to have a dog called Apricot, and I still don't eat apricots very often. As for eggs Benedict…

In pictures: aeroplane race along the Thames

I officially object to having to include this kitten story, but I've gotta keep my ratings up somehow… ;)

It's honestly hard to argue with this criticism. (Yeah, says the individual who spent two years in South Wales doing Science Fiction. Shut up.)

Sick as I am of Shambo the bull, I'm equally annoyed that this story refers to him as "it" (before his slaughter, at which point he became beef, albeit inedible).

This picture of him being taken for slaughter is a little voyeuristic. (Hey, warned you.)

Officials confirm death of Shambo

Word to the Secular Society spokesperson, of course. Far more astonishingly, we have perfect sense there from Akhandadi Das, who is a regular Hindu contributor to Thought for the Day.

He's absolutely right. Where conditions can be managed so there is minimal danger (for example, I understand Shambo was isolated from his harem as soon as the test came back positive), treatment should be an option for pets and perhaps all livestock. Viewing our animals as goods has got to stop. No doubt Das will use his unopposed religious platform in the middle of BBC radio's flagship Today news programme to reiterate this view, and for once I'm all for it.

It's the 40th anniversary of the decriminalisation of homosexuality.

Gay men in Wales recall their experiences.

Attitudes are slow to change. The fact that we still need (and can get commissioned) tv programmes in which the only notable selling point is that most of the characters are gay is testament. Once someone's sexuality is just a thing like any other, comparable to having thinning hair or preferring carob to chocolate, then we'll really have got somewhere.

There are moves by men to stop women wearing trousers in a South African township. These men, we have to assume, do not have gainful employment to occupy their time.

Airlines can no longer refuse to transport people for being disabled or old. (I hope being a complete arsehole never gets classified as a disability. Poor air stewardfolk.) Guide dogs, too, will soon be allowed to fly unobstructed. Does anyone make DVT stockings for dogs?

Jerusalem has a Muslim woman taxi driver and, unfortunately, this is newsworthy. (I like that last paragraph.)

I don't think I linked the psychic death-ray granny-murdering cat, which was (of course) the most read and emailed story on Thursday, never mind all that boring politics, environment and civil-liberty business, but lo and behold, BBC Magazine has investigated the world of animal diagnosticians further.

A man takes his budgie to the vet, places her on the examination table and says "Shirley is right off her linseed. Please help." The vet examines the budgie and says "I'm sorry, Mr Tooting, but your budgie is dead." "No, no!" the man cries, jumping up wild-eyed. "I want a second opinion!" So the vet purses his lips and whistles. His Labrador retriever enters the room and on the vet's command, sniffs around the motionless bird, looks up with a doggish shrug and walks out again. "You see, the budgie is dead," the vet kindly informs its owner. "No, I shan't believe it!" cries the man. "I want another opinion!" So the vet clicks his fingers and pops his lips and a phlegmatic ginger tom enters the room. It circles the unmoving avian once, disdain in every paw pad, then walks out again. "So you see, your budgie really is dead," says the vet. "I must accept it," the man sighs. "That will be £810, please," the vet says. "What! Why so much?" asks the man in horror. The vet replies, "Why, ten pounds for my diagnosis, 500 for the Lab test and 300 for the cat scan."

A few of the attitudes of the founder of Scouting.

Great wording on the smoking and drinking advice. And a few sniggers at some of the rest. All you blanket-users, you'll go blind, you know!

Police are at the temple to remove Shambo the bull!

See exciting photos!

Watch exciting video! (video, RealMedia or Windoze Media, may crash Firefox)

…read the timeline?!

A voice of moderation, but nobody listens to him…

Get the latest Shambo news here! All Shambo, all the time!

I know a person's life is in the balance here, but this is so ridiculous…

Oh here, have a flamingo chick.

What's new in the exciting world of religion and ethics, they asked?

Why, a beautiful gallery of Tibetan monks constructing a sand mandala,

and the BBC's India-Pakistan '07 season, marking 60 years since partition.

The In Pictures index had a little reformat, which is interesting to me, anyway. ;)

Our headline news today, of a "you really, really couldn't make this up unless you were a nine-year-old contributor to Fanfiction.net" sort…

Norway's Princess Martha Louise says she has psychic powers and can teach people to communicate with angels.
–BBC: Norway princess 'talks to angels'

Yes. Yes indeed.

Wasn't it one of the Norwegian royals who said we should get rid of Islam? I'll try to look that one up. (Later:) Ah, no, sorry, Denmark and she was somewhat misquoted.

Every time I think I detest advertising scum as much as it's possible to, something like this comes along. Our mascara's so good, even our advertising model wears fakies!

However, I have sorted out a suitable punishment. The average human apparently has 100-150 lashes. And that's what these slime pouches should receive.

The plot thickens in the desperate race to kill Shambo the bullock!

Great glimpse of archaic and avant-garde Girl Guide badges. Cow-milking, lace-making and keeping house have vanished.

Treasure trove 'found by octopus'

Poor thing! It had found a nifty new porcelain shield, and some buggers came and nicked it.

[Moon Whan-suk, from the National Maritime Museum] told Reuters news agency: "I can't believe how such a small octopus managed to cover its shell with a such a large plate. I guess it meant for us to discover the artefacts."

Mm-hmm. No mention of whether they killed the octo. Flippin' priorities…

A blog linked from the BBC News site (not sure why they do that, but presumably to show they're in touch) has this to say about the latest Hardwood Potash book:

I was afraid, like many others, that my pleasure for the book would be spoiled. My friends and I joked that we were going to cut ourselves off from Internet access from the moment the book came out until we finished reading. And for my part, I did so. No email, no web browsing, by god no games forums, and no Facebook. I didn't want a spare comment, innocent or otherwise, spoiling my surprise.
–Mia Consalvo: When (virtual) worlds collide

Which drives home how slowly some people read how addicted some people must be to their Facebooks and their MMOs. Say what you like about the Mega Drive; no griefer has ever rushed into Home Bay (or even Leyawiin) and spoilered any hot new children's books for me. ;)

Antique engines inspire nano chip

Russians to dive below North Pole for, of course, altruistic and humanitarian reasons relating to the advancement of knowledge.

Heh. Perils of opening up your API, I suppose. I've never been on Facebook, tbh.

UK gender equality 'long way off'

I just don't get this. What's so hard about forcing companies to pay an equal wage? Am I terribly naïf here?

Buhffly.

Scientists map elephant evolution

Arctic diary: Tracking wolves

Boring splurge of my innermost weaknesses for great boredom!

I played this game as a result of someone dissing the Myer-Briggs model, and incidentally I fully agree with all the criticisms expressed, and think astrology and younger personality-quiz memes are bunk too. When I want to oversimplify and categorise people, whether for amusement, what-ifs or seeking a new angle on things, I generally make up my own categories. More fun. Nevertheless, other people's categories are interesting in a number of ways — they're just not accurate models of reality.

(Oh, by the way, if there's someone feeling left out because I didn't dis their chosen methods of divination and/or personality pigeonholing, please take it as read that I think it's bunk, and would never say so in those terms on your blog unless invited to give my opinion.)

This one gave some interesting results, though not much I didn't already know. Throughout the test I was correctly predicting areas where I knew it would misclassify me because of the wording of the questions or categorisation of the scoring. My notes follow the (long) results.

edit: graphs are still page-breaking, but at least don't wrap wrongly — may fix further later

Read the rest of this entry »

The khimar: tool for skivers!

Khimar is Arabic for headscarf, what lots of people call 'hijab'. Hijab is really a wider area than just the headscarf: it involves general rules of modesty, for behaviour as well as dress. The BBC's Islam pages explain hijab pretty well, if I do say so myself (naturally this is mostly thanks to the savvy Muslim colleague who co-wrote the article).

Dammit, another random fruit craving. Anyone know where you can get fresh dragonfruit in Manchester?

I could try to head it off with pomegranate seeds, but my inner fruit vampire isn't likely to be fooled for long…

Still trying to stabilise my weight. It's creeping upwards. Absolutely gutting, because I'm honestly not doing many things wrong. Virtually existing on quantities of cabbage, green beans, cheese, yoghurt, fruit, synth meat and nuts. I suspect it's the bits of dairy if anything that are doing it, but goddamn, it's not as though I'm eating pizza or baked potatoes or anything debauched like that.

Oh, and I'm still experiencing flashes of hunger of the non-vegetarian vampire sort (i.e. seared, bloody meat – come to think of it, I'm craving red things in general), which leads me to suspect anaemia – really must get those blood tests done. Also still as weak as a puppy physically.

(If it's not anaemia, online hypochondria services suggest multiple sclerosis, Parkinson's or brain tumour for my current crop of symptoms, so let's go with the iron deficiency.)

Zenbunny and other thinker-fanboys may enjoy this.

UK consumers happy to own fakes

Going to stick my neck out here, possibly, and say: Fake brand-name goods should not be illegal. If someone wants to own a bag with a certain logo or a particular hideous pattern on it, by grace, let him. Bootleggers are in it, surprise surprise, like everyone else, to make money with the minimum effort — but it's all a response to the usual transparently pathetic attempts to create artificial scarcity.

It's not going to change unless buyers stop the lazy thinking that results in "logo = quality" when "some currently-popular firms got their cachet for making quality goods, but it's by no means a given" is more like it.

Bush bans terror suspect torture

Duh ok, I don't get it – does this cover outsourced torture too? Are they saying they'll apply the same standards to their subcontractors? Because if not, what the hell does this change?

Marcus Brigstocke <3 \m/ \m/ XD XD XD

If the mp3 goes down, I don't honestly have it saved, really, on my hard drive, so there's no point emailing me to ask me to send it to you, because I wouldn't, of course, be able to.

Er, yikes. Moving swiftly on…

YES, this is so true.

Overview and chronology are things we are so bad at, in tons of areas. Continually frustrates me. If I'm teaching someone something I won't begin until I've given them an overview – it's natural. Rooting something in its proper time and place is crucial. "Nepal is the world's only officially Hindu kingdom" is very different from "Nepal was the world's only officially Hindu kingdom until it was declared a secular state in 2006".

Good for Denmark.

Harry Potter actually made it into our, Religion's, news pages thanks to this wacky tale. Yes, I was perfectly sensibly ignoring all Potternews, but then some religious folks had to get their say in.

My bus journeys to and from work this week have been taken up by rereading Order of the Phoenix and Half-Blood Prince. This, possibly aided by my general exhaustion from the early morning and late evenings necessary to get into work on time, has resulted in me reading the nutter below and finding myself thinking of her as a Death Eater. (Whereas I never needed any help spotting the rather obvious parallels between a certain government and a certain Ministry. I esteem Rowling for putting them in, though. Now if only this country had a Dumbledore.)

Gecko glue exploits mussel power

Computers crack famous board game

Nutter.

This is what we really want to hear about on a Friday – a dog with a prosthetic hand. The video clip is great.

The dinos grew up with their own 'neanderthals'. Find this oddly cheering…

OH FOR PETE'S SAKE. "Half of us are crackpots and think these books will summon the devil. But we're the sensible half; we're cashing in instead."

edit, 15:48

One can tell when it's Friday on the BBC. Stories like this show up.

The 'big picture' spot is occupied by a kissing cockatoo…

…not forgetting monkeys.

Oh, and everyone is obsessed with the weather over the weekend.

I really updated to link "Must the US president believe in God?", which I think would be better phrased as "Should any person who hears voices and talks to invisible magic friends be allowed to become president?".

My views, not my employer's. Also, being a coward, I didn't tick "yes" to request a reply.

BBC official complaints form
BBC 2
James May's 20th Century
17/07/2007
(Body Fantastic episode, broadcast 20:30)

My complaint is about the G-force and diving sections of the programme. I didn't stay to watch the rest.

The science was poor and the presentation patronising. The presenter said "this is called G-force" in the tone of voice that suggested this was some fancy-schmantzy new science jargon, and as the programme went on I got the distinct impression he didn't really understand what G-force meant. (Roughly speaking, it is a measure of acceleration, measured in multiples of the Earth's gravitational force, so one G is the same force as the Earth's gravity. This wasn't made clear. Pretty sure gravity was never mentioned.)

Then he came out with some rubbish about evolutionary theory that floored me. Read the rest of this entry »

Bust. Story. Ever.

Shower-singing reality TV show for India

Grrrrrr.

The petition says: "We the Christian population of this great country England would like the proposed plan to build a Mega Mosque in East London scrapped. This will only cause terrible violence and suffering and more money should go into the NHS."

Makes me rather ill, actually. (Or maybe that's the exhaustion, stress and lack of sleep.) These twonks don't speak for my Christian colleagues and of course they don't speak for me, one of the atheist population. "This great country England" is darkly reminiscent of the emotion-stirring language that's always being used to bypass the brains of the American population (and perhaps others, to be fair; I've never seen any N Korean media).

As for the NHS sentence at the end… so blatant. If you are in favour of mosques (being built using private donations) you are against saving lives!!!

Ah well; I signed the opposing petitions. There are even one or two non-Islamic-sounding names among the signatories…

New diet for fattest man (video)

If the man can't stand up, someone has been feeding him. Which is 'enabling', if not full-fledged abuse…

Vitamin C 'does not stop colds'

BBC boss in meeting over lapses

Gotta list this one or I'll be omg suppressing free discussion. ;) Even though I don't personally care about the Queen, I do get very angry when people edit things in misleading ways.