Catholic school 'rejects boy called Hell'

It does mean bright, you chavs! Anyway—school is perdition. What's the gorram problem here. ;)

Knut no longer so cuddly

Italians facing pasta price rise

*cat-in-the-manger smirk*

Vatican text angers Protestants

Right, so. Christians, tick; Jews, tick; now, who next? Muslims? Scientologists? Ha ha.

Hope ya get gored, ya idjits.

Not comparable to Knut up there because the idjits aren't substitute parents and the moo-cows aren't enjoying themselves.

Iran 'adulterer' stoned to death

Have a care; it's fairly disturbing reading.

Israel and Hamas continue their war... for pansy animal-loving British hearts!

Israeli troops rescue rare eagles

Gaza lion freed after two years

(Ph4il. Stunts like this don't stop pansy animal-loving Brits wanting to bash their heads together.)

Challenge over Hindus-only hot spring

(A fun one. Hot springs are one of those funny little topics that are irrationally close to my heart.)

Dear Gillette,

You may describe this as an "exotic, tropical masculine fragrance" but my nose just informed me "this smells like loo cleaner". I thought you ought to know.

yrs etc
clean, mildly annoyed, Harpic-scented Mutt

(who showers at work recently—geek!—because there's no hot water at home at 06:00, which is when I need to get up in order to avoid rush hour on the very long commute into town.)