I now have antibiotics, so should last the weekend with no problems at all. Nice dentist. Somewhat free with the affectionate diminuitives, but I didn't retaliate in kind.

Driving my disorganised self towards getting these gorram books sent out, I've just realised what one of my mental stumbling blocks has been throughout. And now, in all seriousness and with impeccable methodicalness, I am inventing a signature for myself.

Whaaat? It is an entirely new (pen)name, after all. Seeing as my current signature's just my name written messily, different each time, and seeing as I'm going to Be Somebody Big Some Day, I should have a distinctive, reproducible scrawl.

Ah, the backup's finally finished and I can go home.

When one bottle of shower gel went missing from my desk drawer at work, I thought I was crazy or absent-minded.

When the second bottle went missing from my drawer, I realised mistake and accident were both unlikely, sent a stern, witty email around the department warning of clean, selective thieves and began keeping my desk locked at all times.

Now the third bottle has gone missing...

I stare at the single key in my hand.