Another in the infrequent "what it's like to have mild autism" series, since previous installments have had some tentatively positive response. I'm looking at sensory stuff again, because I'm getting more and more intrigued by sensory weirdness in general.

(The usual disclaimer: this may not be applicable to every Aspie. It might be just me.)

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Last time you stubbed a toe or cut your finger — remember what it felt like? The sensation of pain, the sharp stab or dull, slowly-spreading impact shock?

Well, I don't.

You read me right: I don't remember what it feels like. I can remember various mild injuries, often caused by my delightful tremor or general dyspraxic clumsiness. I remember bashing whatever poor appendage got bashed. I remember swearing. I remember the fact that it hurt for what felt like half an hour or so (I'm reeeeally wimpish pain-sensitive). I do not remember what the hurt felt like.

I also don't remember what it feels like to comb my hair or stroke a cat.

And, funnily enough, the same thing goes for emotions. I remember writing a co-post with someone. I remember laughing and grinning a lot. I remember that I enjoyed it. Damned if I can remember what that felt like.

I often wonder if this is why my dreams are so emotionally and sensorially flat.

With me so far? All right.

I can't remember, but I can imagine.

In a very limited way, anyway. Enough to wince in... what I'd call empathy if I wasn't autistic... when someone else stubs their toe. Surely this 'imagining' is me unconsciously remembering? No. Sometimes I imagine it completely wrong.

As a consequence of all of this, I have a very strange mental vocabulary for describing physical sensations. Most of the terminology as I think of it, and even the concepts themselves, do(es)n't seem to have an analogue among more normal people. (For example, the sensation of someone stroking your cheek, if you're a dog, I think of as 'fatty'. Because it's clear in colour and tastes like that and is [the mood of closed-eyes calm]. See what I mean here?)

I also don't understand when other people ask me things like "Is it a shooting pain?". There's nothing there in my brain for me to hang their strange adjectives on. Because obviously nobody can tell me "What you're feeling now, that's what a shooting pain is"...

...and even if they did, I might not remember it anyway.

[Reposted. Bloody buggy WordPress...]

Mental health is not glamorous, exciting or high-profile enough to bother with.

I recommend Asperger's syndrome as a lifestyle choice. No more distracting relationships! Work-life balance woes will be a thing of the past! All the aspierational bright young things are doing it. Sign up today! (I hear it's transmissible through the MMR vaccine or something.)

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Can the art of a paedophile be celebrated?

A follow-up to the story the other day.

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Dog walks 'cause birds to take flight', reducing numbers.

Oh sure, blame dogs for everything, you racists.

Also, yes the birds take off, but don't you think they might land again? (Never mind become more aware and cautious generally, which can only be a good thing and might result in fewer sightings in itself!) This waste-of-time study apparently didn't go into that question. As the person from Birdlife International puts it: This is not a surprising result; there is already evidence that dogs can disturb birdlife[...] It would now be really interesting to see how long those reductions in bird numbers last, to see whether it is a few minutes, hours or days. Very diplomatically-put criticism.

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Officers have been told off for putting a Princess Diana item on eBay.

Why? Why shouldn't they have?

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A chiselled stallion fighting for the crown.

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People should be banned from giving their products pretentious lower-case names. "iPod" is reasonable, if silly; "iPod shuffle" is not reasonable and "iPod touch" just sounds dirty.

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Who's that grimacing ape trying to sneak into shot with the cutiepie donkey?

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Yes. Yes, they must.

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Fruit fly. Prettypretty!

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The space fender-bender that did for the dinos.

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Yes, following up the Spidey suit story, we have more super-cool powerz on their way.

I must read this The Science of Supervillains book they mention. And I didn't know that about Wonder Woman's creator. Score.

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Find your partner through an MMO! (If you are an idiot.)

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Moore's Law is best taken as an observation, not a roadmap. And wheeheehee, etched-atom processing!

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Bears rub up against and wee on trees. This is known. However, somebody has ONLY JUST suggested that this might be for territorial scent-marking purposes instead of "using them to scratch an itch[...] trying to rub on tree sap to repel insects [...or] using the trees to attract mates."

Is this really moronic, or am I missing something?

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Best-Stalagmites!

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A life free of branded goods?

Funnily enough, I have never felt any urge to pay for the privilege of advertising someone's products. I think my watch and earphones - carefully researched and bought to last - are the most valuable things I carry around with me, and I sure as hell don't flash those around.

Also, yes, burning all his goods was a stupid publicity stunt. Carbon footprint, eh?

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Religion, not race, segregates London, turning it into "a patchwork of religious enclaves". What a surprise, when religion has always been such a force for good, tolerance and unity!

AND BENIGNITY AND MODERNITY and not EVER superstition, OH NO.

Damn, religious superstition is just so nifty.

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How do you time 100,000 fireworks to go off with music? I've always wondered this!