This does not count towards my year's target. This does not count at all. It doesn't exist. I never wrote it.

the dark darkness

the knife rolls relaxedly
down
my arm
with the gentle skinlicktickle of
liquid blood
but the knife is blunt
no blood today

Not-written because I was having a conversation with Anke about writing feedback communities (I'm quite getting into this advice-giving malarkey!) and how I don't always have anything helpful to say to other people's posts, and got onto the sort of poetry I can never help with because I just don't 'get it'. I can't help it. My brain doesn't consider formless, non-rhyming stuff poetry, not in the sense that I enjoy poetry. I do consider this a personal failing, but not one that impoverishes my life to a great extent.

And after all that, I can think of nothing but No Milk Today by Herman's Hermits, a truly fantastic piece of songwriting that never fails to make me happy.

I've made certain I can show this to you all now. The press launch was last night.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/thepassion/

Supporting a BBC One drama due to go out on 16 March and over the rest of Holy Week.

(It's got Wedge Antilles in it, you unwashed geeks.)

For my purposes, the main interesting thing is that it's the first site to use the new Embedded Media Player and one of the first to use the new 'Barlesque' programme page templates (name is a pun on previous system, called Barley).

I didn't get to do any design or building. Just populated templates, wrote a couple of the biographies and asked annoyingly incisive questions of the article writers.

In shocking news, no ladies have proposed marriage to me today.

(That's good, because I have ethical objections to providing kisses and silk gloves.)

Red trouble still on the lam.

To aid your essential research into this matter, Charlie the Songdog sends this.

Why didn't I get one of these?

No impact from Energy Saving Day

Children's mags 'damage writing' ('Mags'. I rest my case.)

Robbers in Sydney are clever enough to target a bar during a biker meeting.

Plan to teach baby robot to talk

Hands up who immediately thought of Susan Calvin in "Lenny".

Mattress boxing. (Coming soon: mattress happy-slapping.)

[video] New Amur leopard baby. Beware, explicit pictures right from the outset, which some viewers may find highly distressing. *coughcough*