Dog choir auditions. YES.

---

Donegal pilgrimage/'retreat' thingy. Sounds harsh.

---

Dog swallows golf ball mid-flight. A golf ball is too small to make a safe doggy toy.

---

Pain experts to discuss treatment (not porn, sickos)

---

Exploring the virtual ant colony

---

Ancient tree helps birds survive by providing them with yummy wasps.

---

Terry Pratchett criticises drugs ruling edit: longer article

Speaking of Pratchett, recommendations for books to get boys reading. Altivo will be disappointed that they're all violent... well, Colour of Magic isn't too bad, since the main character spends his time, ahem, refusing to engage in violence.

---

Doll causes police alert

---

Carnival costumes go on display... more pics, plz!

---

Big Olympic piccies. This one's my favourite. There's also one of a fencer looking stupid, and other stuff.

---

'Bravest' students do not cheat.

I resent this. I'm a coward and I don't cheat. Unless I'm going to be threatened with violence if I don't cheat, I don't see what one has to do with the other. Behaving ethically is generally an unrisky form of 'heroism', not really deserving of being confused with physical bravery.

---

In pictures: Your lunchbreaks

---

Under half of all Scottish weddings in 2007 were religious. Yay!

Oh, while we're on the subject: Remove unfair benefits from married couples! Ban all religious venues from being given marriage permits! Votes for asexuals!!

---

The prison system WORKS, REALLY, for this guy. (No, really. It's obviously working very nicely indeed for him.)

---

Man in straw cottage installs electricity for the first time.

---

Ill English Bull Terrier abandoned in city street (the typist was obviously ill too; lots of typos in there at the mo). I'll give him a home! Send him down here!

---

Dying and euthanasia stuff. (The doctrine of double effect, incidentally, is bull. Yeah, I'm so good at this philosophy stuff. ;)

---

...

Almost as good as that model of children's bed called "Lolita".

---

Edinburgh Fringe show about Auschwitz sounds very unpleasant.

Musicals at the Fringe. Yay musicals! Yay Eurovision! Yay camp! ... *glances around* What?

---

'Kill signal crayfish on sight' appeal. They are considered as bad (in terms of being invasive species) as Japanese knotweed and grey squirrels.

Can't fight Darwin, people. If you don't like it, go reverse climate change. Not the crayfishes' fault they're better at exploiting your niche than you are.

---

Ancient Viking board game revived. Awesome.

---

Search and rescue dog saves missing motorcyclist... in Beddgelert.

(This is lightly ironic because Beddgelert is named in honour of humanity's unfairness to its canine partners.)

---

Canadians win piping championships in Scotland

---

...to be honest, I'm a bit sick of Superlambananas...

Well, that's an understatement. I was sick of them when they were Manchester cows, and before that when they were Brussels cows. Basically what I'm implying here for comedy value is that the lambs are ripped off from Cow Parade. And why not, indeed.