Well, when I filled in the first version of this one I said if anyone wanted to come up with some less uninspiring questions, I’d fill it in again. Anke took me up on that, so now I have to round up my headpuppies again and make them talk. Whee!
Instructions:
1. Choose up to five of your own characters.
2. Make them answer the following questions.
What’s your opinion on reading and writing?
Suitov: *looks as though someone just asked him what he thinks of breathing*
Basaltine: Best done with the nose, not the printed word.
Tortile: Dangerous traits in the wrong sort of person.
Ferrl: They aren’t the basics of all education. They’re good for… transferring or safekeeping knowledge.
Weft: Dangerous traits in the wrong sort of person.
Basaltine: Wouldn’t you count as the wrong sort of person in your own way of thinking?
Weft: Almost certainly. Luckily I’m a slow reader.
Suitov: With a photographic memory.
Weft: Well, yes.
Ferrl: You didn’t answer the question, sir.
Suitov: Written language, like compiled magic, is one of the cornerstones of — well, more or less all higher pursuits. There comes a point beyond which it’s hard to continue without some form of information storage and retrieval other than the animal brain.
Ferrl: Ding ding. I think that was an answer all right.
What’s your opinion on maths, sciences, and language(s)?
Weft: Mostly irrelevant gathering of knowledge for vanity’s sake, so bad. I assimilate only what I’m required to.
Ferrl: I’m not much for the theory side of things. I know what Iceheart’ll say, though…
Suitov: *shrug* Endless sources of fascination and delight?
Weft: *indulgently* Geek.
Basaltine: Insofar as they pertain to things that explode, taste good, smell interesting, can be screwed, get offended, play games or give belly rubs, they are most admirable and useful.
Tortile: It’s good to have access to people who understand these things, and essential to keep them firmly in their place.
Ferrl: Languages are pretty essential in today’s climate, though.
Weft: Oh, and language can be beautiful. Not your heathen jabbers, though.
What is the best way to learn something?
Ferrl: Action and repetition, with an occasional thump to encourage you to get it right.
Weft: …actually, I’ve nothing to add to the previous.
Suitov: In spite of someone who doesn’t want you to.
Tortile: As His Lordship said.
Basaltine: From mistakes. Lots of them.
To what degree do you avoid risks and danger?
Basaltine: Jump right in there!
Weft: To the degree that I don’t risk damaging my employer’s property without good reason.
Tortile: I’m a terrible coward. Sometimes, of course, in spite of an honour guard, dangerous actions are too expedient to justify their avoidance.
Ferrl: Have a good idea of the odds, but don’t shy away from doing what you have to.
Suitov: Corporately, wherever reasonably practical. On a personal level I’ll take a certain degree of risk.
Ferrl: And give your honour guard a blood bubble.
Suitov: I’m never going to be the type that hides behind a triple shield wall in full plate while the others risk their necks.
Weft: You know, Icey, one of these days you’ll realise you’re not invincible and I really hope I’m the one to teach you that.
Basaltine: I was waiting for that. My day’s not complete until you threaten at least one of my loved ones.
Weft: You die when he dies, don’t you? Oh what a happy day that’ll be.
Under what circumstances would you risk your life for someone else?
Tortile: Weft is lucky enough to be able to do this more often than I, although our organisation is all about shared risk and labours with a good dose of altruism.
Weft: What Tort said. Technically every job I do is risking my life for the good of other people en masse. Though *heavily ironic voice* for some reason not everyone appreciates it.
Basaltine: Religious nutters. Anyway, risks is risks. If you would do it for a really big chocolate cookie, do the same for a loved one, and if you wouldn’t do it for a really big chocolate cookie, you don’t love cookies enough.
Ferrl: Funny question for a soldier. My job is essentially gambling that you and your friends can press the other team into giving up first – oh, and that the others kill your friends instead of you.
Suitov: Limited circumstances heavily dependent on the identity of the someone else, except in the very lowest-risk cases.
Under what circumstances do you think killing someone justified, in general?
Suitov: With the general proviso that non-lethal methods are to be preferred whenever reasonably practical. Self-defence from death or serious or moderate injury requires no thought. Likewise, defence of close friends or loved ones from death or serious injury; my interests, or other responsibilities, from destruction or serious damage. Killing becomes less justified as danger moves from immediate and personal to general and abstract. Some other more debatable circumstances in which I’d kill: someone presenting a serious, immediate public danger, someone (with sanity established to my satisfaction) who expresses a genuine wish to die, someone dying slowly or painfully (again, certainty of death established to my satisfaction), book-burners, certain limited circumstances in which killing would safeguard a greater number of lives (again where the probability is established to my satisfaction blah blah), revenge only with a strong educational component (i.e. where others exist who will learn something from it). As a point of interest, I don’t find wars very justifiable.
Weft: Tl;dr. People should die if they’re nuisances, dangers, criminals, Suitov, troublemakers or if my order says they should.
Tortile: I’m one of those who help said order make its judgement calls. We use some very sophisticated logic to determine when deaths are justified. We’re extremely responsible.
Ferrl: You know, I think I’m with the boss on this one. Except the books. That’s just damn weird.
Suitov: ‘Book-burners’; slang meaning the sort of people who would murder knowledge.
Ferrl: Still…
Basaltine: Wider categories than Suitov, but the same basic idea. Defence, revenge, public service. Crimes of passion… they’re bad but forgivable.
Under which circumstances would you, personally, kill (or have you killed) someone?
Suitov: I would in all of the cases I mentioned above because I try not to hold principles I’m not prepared to get my hands dirty following up. Metaphorical hands, that is, because I’m a pansy mage who doesn’t know one end of a sword from t’other.
Weft: I kill whenever I’m told to by a legitimate authority, i.e. my employer, and in a few circs when I’ve been pre-conditioned to react with lethal force.
Tortile: Since I’m not trained for it, the circumstances would most likely involve a plan going wrong.
Basaltine: Uh, like I said above.
Ferrl: The heat of battle covers many sins. Haha.
What is the worst feeling you experienced?
Weft: NEXT. QUESTION. ASDFKSL.
Suitov: Weft? *concerned look*
Weft: Shut up and die and just answer the stupid question, I don’t care.
Suitov: Very well. Powerlessness, probably. Or wounded pride.
Tortile: Perhaps the first time my faith in certain absolutes was shaken.
Basaltine: Oh, being beaten up by the bigger kids was fairly unpleasant. Or being driven out of town by shrieking yokels, that’s always fun. Nothing to get me down long-term, though. Oh, right, I hate being lonely.
Weft: So do I…
Ferrl: I remember as a child having a hugely disproportionate panic attack when I broke a tool belonging to one of my uncles or aunts. I don’t remember why I panicked so much over it. Anyway, that was the most intense bad feeling that comes to mind, though of course transient. Losing loved ones was more protracted, worse overall, but less histrionic.
Basaltine: Ferrl, you can borrow my tool any day.
Ferrl: But what if I break it?
Basaltine: *winces* Yip!
And what is the best feeling?
Basaltine: What is with all this talking about feelings? What are you, Weft?
Weft: What do you mean by that?
Basaltine: Er, no-o-othing?
Weft: Whoever wrote these questions is undoubtedly a horrible and stupid and badly-dressed heathen. Like you.
Basaltine: I don’t wear clothes.
Weft: And still you manage to look badly-dressed. Well done.
Basaltine: I bet your best ever feeling was something to do with delivering a cutting fashion insult, right?
Weft: I… don’t know. Don’t make me answer this one.
Ferrl: Well, maybe Mutt’s just tired, but I can’t think of a single bestest feeling ever that I’ve experienced. There were times, you know, when I’d got given a present or stuff like that…
Suitov: Oh, solving things, succeeding at something difficult. Transient pleasures. Always something new to be conquered.
Basaltine: Mine was meeting him. *jerks nose at Suitov*
Suitov: Shame on me. I forgot. Yes, acquiring this big hairy nuisance was a definite highlight.
