Black Dog Blog

Archive for the ‘dogs’ Category

Hi Southern USA, would you mind not cheesing me off today? Oh never mind, forget it:

US school cancels prom 'over lesbian date'

Fine. OK, China, you're still on probation. Don't let me down now… oh hell, why do I bother ungrounding you lot.

Eleven rare Siberian tigers die at Chinese zoo

Australia, Australia, I hardly dare even ask. Well wait a second, what do we have here?

Atheists meet in Melbourne to celebrate lack of faith

Sounds like lots of fun. I almost wish I could attend.

Female porn director to fight Parliament seat in Kent

It doesn't say if the films she directs make an attempt at being 'healthy', or are the usual creepy exploitative crap. Either way, well, if she wants to run, best of luck to her in evading the Daily Wail and not sabotaging the whole gig for Lib Dem voters country-wide… that's what I care about most here.

Escapologist's ferret escapes

In pictures: PUPPIES! Crufts 2010

I can't remember if I've linked this older story before. Japan's patient pets

This is one of those stories where you almost don't need to read the text, because nothing could outdo the headline. (Any suggestions for a snappy term for this kind of story?)

Mummified hand disappears from Wiltshire pub again

For some time I was wondering why E-Type's song "Fall from the Sky" was in my head, then I remembered I'd seen this story:

Mystery of 75 starlings falling from the sky

Genius.

Nanometre 'fuses' for high-performance batteries

UK treenage slang. A nifty section shows how kids in different areas express this phrase in their own patois:

"John's girlfriend is really pretty. But she got mad with him the other day because he wanted to hang out with his friends rather than take her to the cinema. She got really angry and stormed off. It was very funny."

Giant croc skull

Electroshock collars banned in Wales. Ha! In your FACE, Cesar Milan!

Sheepies in the snow

Taking home leftovers from work parties can be bad for you, Ancient Egyptians find.

Stemming blood flow to the arm protects heart during attack. Not sure if I'd dare do this as part of my first aiding…

Naughty tigie behaviour. Remind anyone else of The Life of Pi?

'Most unfortunate names' revealed. How I adore puns.

Personally, I've come across the name Pritti Mistry – which is quite sweet, actually – and know of a Jane Eyre in my family history. Of late, I have persuaded a Ms Robson of my acquaintance to call her first son Jerome. (Luckily, I'm sure she'll forget long before she should have this opportunity.)

And as a Baskerville, don't think I have considered adopting a Howard or Howell. Not that a wolfhound would understand the intricacies of wordplay, so it wouldn't be cruel.

Is Switzerland a hotbed of "Zionism and foreign aggression", then?

Children 'over-exposed to sexual imagery'. I saw Dr. Papadopoulos interviewed on breakfast news this morning. Amazingly, it was a good interview (though dumbed-down, as usual). I can't see that clip online; here's another video report on early exposure to sexualised imagery.

Giant George the Great Dane enters the record books.

Presumably they've had him measured now because 4 years is pretty long-lived for a Great Dane. Poor beasts.

edit: Brother's been on Oprah.

Hiding FAIL: German man betrayed to police by his own dog.

Springy spaniel jumps off cliff to see if she bounces.

Aerial view of County Tyrone (Ireland).

Gentlemen: bring me Superman and I'll give you One Meeelyun Dollars!

• Dad's firm is making a product I think my employer would find interesting… but their website is so unprofessional I don't like to show it. #
• It's not *bad*. I'm glad it errs on the side of simplicity. It's just, y'know, FrontPage, bitmap image, jagged gifs and random animal photo. #
• Bad website can put folks off if you're a software firm, even if not a web design firm. I mean, their current main site? I built it aged 15! #
• You can tell I'm talking myself into doing a free redesign for them, can't you. Such things look like good ideas at 01:49 in the morning. #
• And I do need the experience. And I already know which public domain WordPress theme I'd use. And I do like grey and black company colours. #

(Fortunately, I went and slept after this point.)

• Enjoying @tdobson 's second Mashup! podcast: http://bit.ly/6bBqoH @jonathancoulton, #metal AND @cubicgarden = a trifecta of win. :) #
• RT @NameYourTale: The Forgetful Omniscient http://is.gd/5GAAb #microfiction #100words // Brill! I only suggested this title a day ago. :D #
• Wants to go clay pidg shooting and is reduxing some Raymond Chandler from BBC7. Twitter keeps reminding me of stuff I've been meaning to do! #
• …Or I'm a hopelessly suggestible meme host. #
• I have the house to myself for a few days. Time to go wild! Plans so far: do jigsaw, play PS2 on large flatscreen. #bohemian #

Origami Cerberus fsdrfdfsdfs11!11!!!

• RT @Anke: I think @Suitov might want to see this bit of origami: http://bit.ly/8Tkkos // SQUEE!11!!11 For @Anke: http://bit.ly/8voTKL #
• This is INSANE. I reckon I'd need A2 paper or something even to have a shot at this.. #origami #cerberus #hellhounds http://bit.ly/6A9Wlb #

Khaosdog's Bolt fan artwork.

Khaosdog is a German artist I admire. Khaosdog is great at expressing shiny lighting effects, paints fantastic fur and is canine-obsessed, which, let's face it, is always a plus.

Found a cool new real-time blog, like the Dracula one but non-fiction.

Lolz, we're gonna pwn the Antarctic!

Dog 'saves' sleep condition woman

Ooh, here's one for the wishlist next to Cold Reading by Ian Rowland…

And now, Windows tips via someone on Yammer.

Clicking Start > Run (or pressing Windows key + R if, like me, you are a keyboard man) and typing the abbreviation "clipbrd" will bring up the clipboard viewer.

Clicking Start > Run and typing "flipbrd" will bring up a picture of Bill Gates giving you the finger.

Pet labrador which 'knew train timetable' dies (shut up, it is not a slow news day!1!)

Read the original story too, linked in the sidebar. That signalman is after my own heart.

Police making arrests 'just to gather DNA samples'

Colours, sounds and moving objects

HIV infections and deaths fall as drugs have impact

The worldwide stats are really interesting.

Grandmother monkeys care for baby

I bet this guy is the new football sex symbol. Ladies?

NOM!

This article also wins for coining a slightly more disturbing variant of "it's not rocket science":

"We're not building an atomic bomb," he points out. "You just have to use the right quantities, and the right ingredients."

If you don't eat your mutt you can't have any puddy! How can you have any puddy if you won't eat your mutt?!

(Picture = cutest brindle mastiff EVAR TODAY.)

Dog survives 65ft plunge into sea, looks nervously at RNLI rescuers licking their lips.

Swan

Penguin

Bat

Shackleton's whisky to be dug up

Bitter divorcees 'using children'

It's arseholes like this who should be stopped from marrying, not them scary scary gays.

Megaloceros giganteus (giant deer) starved to death during ice age. Clearly they didn't think of storing their booze in a nearby glacier.

"That means that mainland giant deer had some sort of refugia from the Ice Age before they met their ultimate extinction; they were able to move to a better environment and survive later," says Ms Chritz. BBC

And that, my UK friends, is why moose go to Iceland.

Rare Barbastelle bat found on the Isle of Wight

White hind caught on camera in Scotland; Queens Susan, Lucy, Kings Peter, Edmund, seen rushing to site

This article can't make up its mind whether the hind (which is a female deer) should be referred to as "it" or "she". Come on, folks, language guidelines should state that if an animal's sex is known, he or she should be referred to appropriately. Possibly non-sexually-dimorphic arthropods and small fish could be exempt, but it's stupid to refer to a queen bee or ant drone as "it".

Dog lost in Afghan battle returns. Again with the "its"! What is this rudeness? To a war veteran, no less! (Oh, sorry, Sabi, I meant to say war experienced person.)

28,000 people in the UK have black and white television sets.

You mean BCC, sigh…

Nu Labour in a nutshell:

"It is with considerable disappointment, therefore, that the government has agreed not to remove the 'freedom of expression' section."

The superstitions around opening an umbrella indoors apparently date back to the Ancient Egyptians.

Nurse shark? This one's a midwife.

Smart wife launches her own entrapment operation to catch her paedophile husband in the act. Also, they live in Pantygog.

Chile says "thanks but no thanks" to statue of authoritarian paedophile-abetting misogynist with creepy Virgin Mary fixation. Sadly not on those grounds, just because of an underground car park.

This one's fascinating: Traditional African rulers should apologise for the role they played in the slave trade, a Nigerian rights group has said.

'I agreed to become a suicide bomber' – after days of beatings and being shouted at, poor kid. I admire him.

Greek Church throws a hissy fit about a ban on "the compulsory display of crucifixes" in classrooms.

Darwin foiled by ambulance service

Lion is taken on midnight safari. Disapproves of stop signs but enjoyed drive-thru.

Forest pursues 'dark sky' status. Galloway is in the south of Scotland. This would be the first certified 'dark sky' place outside the USA (which you'd think would have a natural advantage in the sheer amount of less-populated space over there).

Dolphin football off north coast

Massive killer whale pod sighted

"I'm utterly lost for words" – well shut up, then; your yapping isn't adding to the moment here!

Royal award for fold-up bike man

Swedes divided over bunny biofuel

Slightly misleading picture of a pet bunny. We're talking about dead wild rabbits. Given a bunch of dead rabbits after a cull that would have happened regardless, you can incinerate them, toss them into a mass grave or try to put them to some kind of use. Left up to me, well, somebody's doggies would have some very nice gourmet cooked meals.

Dogs who attacked child will be destroyed

I wonder how many of the roughly 50% of UK inhabitants who oppose the death penalty for humans (I know, frighteningly low number) would also oppose it for dogs.

Delay formal lessons 'to age six'

I dunno. If we can trust parents to teach and engage their kids in the meantime, that'd be good. And then there's the question of if parents can afford to stay at home and teach their kids (and in an ideal world the answer to this should be absolutely yes). Not necessarily formal lesson-style learning, but socialisation, zoo, finger-painting, all the stuff a kid needs to experience.

My concern (as usual) is about gifted kids especially, and stunted potential all around. I needed to start reading at age two, and if I hadn't had a minion on hand to teach me, it would've been rubbish.

"Everybody is used to science fiction featuring science that seems, well, not very scientific."

Er, if we're being pedantic, I beg to dub that 'science fantasy' or soft SF, not cool hard sci-fi. But continue.

Welcome to the world of sci-fi science

Three new shortish updates since last post. I'm going for little and often so I don't lose the momentum.

In this update:

• The perennial disorganisation of genius!
• Find out what Mistake considers important enough to swear on!
• And, lots of lovely murder!

"And don't try telling me she's suddenly discovered her maternal side, 'cause she hasn't got one."

OMG, the drama reaches lava pitch!

I spent me mornin' caressing an eager young thing's rump.

Finished by slippin' five pieces o' eight into her collection box, if ye knows what I mean.

Yarrrrrrrrr!

Teh Voodoo Chil'e gave me these five words she associates with me:

"Dogs, Twitter, Writing, Asexuality, Demonology"

Dogs

Why would anyone associate me with dogs? I don't even own one. Oh, wait, I know: it's because I'm completely dotty on them. Big ones, medium-sized ones, bloke ones, unisex ones, even the less disgusting of the small girly ones – you know, the self-respecting small dogs who aren't called Frippzie Bunchkin and Booflewoofles and La Teeshah and Sparkles and Pixietoes, and who don't have yellowing curly hair around their eyes and mouths, and whose eyes don't pop out of their syringomyeliac skulls, and who don't growl and foam at stray air currents. But particularly the sensible ones with big brown eyes and flopped ears, coats of smooth black or wavy gold, perhaps going a bit grey around the muzzle, who sniff at your face and decide whether it needs a bit of a lick, who smell of dog, who groan in comfort when you do their ears properly and whose back legs twitch when you tickle the magic spot just above the flank. And also the silly ones who herd their tennis ball, jump into lawn sprinklers and proudly bring you half a tree branch covered in mud.

It's not anything untoward. I just really like dogs. I miss having them in my life.

Twitter

I resisted Twitter for the longest time, but my Charming And Devastatingly Good-Looking Colleagues twisted my arm. Being someone who can't help creating in one form or another, I've gravitated towards using it for extreme short-form fiction. It's pretty fun squeezing as much detail as you can into 125 characters.

Writing

Like I said, I pretty much can't help creating, and because I'm very far from a visual person at heart, and thoroughly enjoy the feel of the English language, I write. Actually, I type: I can't write all that well. Another reason I don't indulge in other forms of creation is that I'm dyspraxic and ambisinistrous. I occasionally need help picking up a playing card or moving very small objects precisely, and I'm uncoordinated on an epic scale, and sometimes, just for laughs, I get these SUPER FUN manual tremors. Sometimes I'm fine, though.

I'm thinking of participating in this year's NaNo, if I can just get myself organised before then.

Asexuality

I've never been sexually attracted to anyone in my 27 years and have no interest in bucking the trend. No, I'm not sick. No, I don't feel I'm missing out. No, I'm not unhappy about it. No, I'm not in the closet and in denial (HA HA HA HA!). No, I'm not under a religious vow of celibacy (HA HA HA HA!). No, I don't just need introducing to more beautiful women in hats or long-haired girly geek boys who need my help. (These things are nice, in the sense that executive toys or pictures of lava flows are nice, but I'd quickly get bored of having any of them on my desktop day in day out.)

And no, I'm not going to sleep with you "to find out what I'm missing" or "because you can't dismiss something you haven't tried" or any other reeeaaallllly clever and original arguments, and if anyone is ever stupid (and blind/drunk) enough to try such a line on me I'll thoughtfully muse "you know, I guess I can't dismiss amputee fetishes without trying one. Hold still, I've got a Swiss Army Knife right here". (Y'know, besides, if I ever decide to try alcohol it'll be well-researched vintage, not any old White Lightning I pick up off a pub table, so to speak, and it'll be off my own bat, not because some genius knows what I like and it just happens to coincide with him/her getting laid.)

I will raise children one day, though. Preferably Rottie/German Shepherd crosses, or any mixture I adopt from a rescue centre. Hybrid vigour is the way to go, people. Please boycott pedigrees for a few more years until we see if the KC's new rulings (coincidentally coinciding with the BBC exposing the state of the UK's pedigree dog breeders) improve the lives of some of these poor animals.

Demonology

During the course of my earlier writings I made up some hellhounds (working on the irrefutable logic that talking fireproof dog = best thing ever), which meant I had to make up the rest of their universe (or cosmology, perhaps), which left me with some rather odd demons. There are demon hackers who do things like grow particular sets of horns to experiment with radio waves. There is an eight foot tall scaly bat thing called Fragrant Cherry Blossom. There is a hacker-geneticist called Mendel. There is a remarkably unpleasant sort called Bruce Thing who tends to get killed in quite a variety of painful ways. There are even succubi of many, many sexes and genders.

There are angels, too, which are different, and hounds of heaven, who are terrifyingly cool. Because I have a thing for ghost dogs and Wild Hunt mythology, too. Can you tell?

Who sleeps in bed next to you?
Other than an occasional visiting cat, just my current book/s.

What kind of magazines do you read?
I don't. I hate magazines; the physicality of them, the periodical-ness, the dumbed-down-ness (especially that)… I've just learned somewhere along the line to file myself as Not a Magazine Person. I barely even read RSS feeds. :P I'd actually read New Scientist if I could get over it being a magazine.

What was the last book you read? What are you currently reading?
Last were a few children's books pertaining to ghost dogs, for my collection. Currently, Winterbirth by some British writer. It's really… Scottish. Includes a map, but also needs an index of clan names…

What's really creepy?
Nightmares involving violence or sex. Humans being naked for non-sensible reasons. Animal abuse of any sort – well, that's more ENRAGING than icky. Infantilism. Hurting people for fun. Especially those last two.

Who is your celebrity crush?
I tend not to crush on real people. In terms of "I know I don't actually know them, but they seem terribly enticing from what I have seen, so I hope I never meet them or I'll probably despise them as I do with all real human beings": Jennifer Saunders and Stephen Fry. (Someone who is worth meeting, in my experience, is Terry Pratchett. He's witty and not a prick in real life, even at an exhausting signing.)

Quote some lyrics that you love:

• Lycanthropy by Patrick Wolf doesn't just speak to me, it sings to me.
• "Rise another day across the distant skies / Where the dawn above the winter moonlight shines upon the fall of our lives" –DragonForce (I find themes of winter/snow/ice and moonlight quite often exhilerating)
• "All the pay I need comes shining through his eyes / I dont need no cold water to make me realise that / I love my dog as much as I love you / But you may fade, my dog will always come through." –Cat Stevens (I think explaining this might be to belabour a point…)
• "Did it take long to find me? I asked the faithful light; / Did it take long to find me? And are you gonna stay the night? / I'm being followed by a moonshadow, moonshadow, moonshadow / Leaping and hopping on a moonshadow, moonshadow, moonshadow" –Cat Stevens (Makes me think of a playful cat, probably because a cat I once owned was called Moonshadow. She had a cameo in Mews.)
• I suppose also Sad Lisa, also by Cat Stevens (lyrics) is another pretty one. (Some people think it's about a dog. I thought it was a ghost. Maybe she's a ghost dog!)
• Oh, and Morning Has Broken can be a great suitheist anthem with minimal tweaking. Anyway, enough Cat Stevens (what is it with me and him today?). Have a Bird Dog!!!

I could go on, but I suppose I'll stop…

What are you listening to right now?
One of Ian F's mixes.

What are you most excited for?
My moderate excitement currently has no focus.

What websites do you always visit when you go online?
profusion.hellhound.net, webmails, often LJ, and at home, a couple of game-type sites.

What was the last thing you bought?
Books, not counting mangetout and houmous for the week's lunch. (I'm getting SO BORED of that. Going to have to find something else easy to munch.)

What was the cutest thing you've seen today?
A West Highland White outside the newsagent. It was shy and I scritched its head briefly. Distinctly saw a passer-by smile at my talking gently to it. Westies aren't very cute; I prefer proper dogs, but y'know, a drowning person doesn't insist on teak.

Does the weather affect your mood?
I can't honestly say I've noticed… I think I'm too self-contained. I could be wrong, though: I am an Earth animal, and we're more natural than we think we are.

What is your zodiac sign?
Water Dog. Gemini.

Do you want to learn another language?
I'd actually like to get back into the ones I know a little of: German, Latin, French. And maybe learn more Finnish songs. Songs are easy. ANKAT, OO-OH, UUTA JUONTA AINA SAHAA

5 things you can't live without:
Internet connection, retreating into my own head, dogs, dogs, creating things

Do you have any siblings?
One blood, one miscellaneous.

Do you have to pee?
This is an evil question. I approve. Hey, everyone reading, whatever you do, don't think of waterfalls! *raps* Dripping tap, drowned rat, Reichenbach, neap! / splashing frog, shaking dog, soggy noggy moggy fog / tut tut, water butt, looks like waiting drops of rain upon my windowpaaane (speed up at this point…) / surface tension, water retention, plippy skippy crashy splashy blidder bladder downpour BURST!

Say something to the person who tagged you:
Safari park sounds good! Let's take your stash and let the baboons steal it.

We went to an RSPCA talk at the Eighth Day last night.

Beforehand was a vegan buffet, all included in the £10 ticket price, and it was completely amazing. There were quiches and dips and things you'd expect in veg*n nosh, all very nice, and also some awesome tofu-nut wrappy things. Some non-vegetarians there remarked that they wouldn't mind eating like this every night, and I have to agree. There was lots of nummy fresh fruit and, horror of horrors, the ACTUAL MOST DELICIOUS BROWNIES EVER, which also happened to be vegan, as well as thick, chocolatey, nutty and all gooey in the middle. Just to torment me, these aren't included on the Eighth Day recipes page.

The talk was cool too. The emphasis was on information rather than stories of outrage (not that I particuarly mind stories of outrage; such things are happening to my brethren, cats, rabbits and miscellaneous, and everyone should know about it).

Facts I heard last night:

• The RSPCA was formed before the police. William Wilberforce was one of the founders. Police officers who sneer at RSPCA inspectors for not being 'proper' inspectors are barking up the wrong history.
• The maximum prison sentence for even the most disturbing animal abuse is six months. What with the law not doing what it says it will, this can in practice mean buggerall. People can be banned from keeping animals for life, but you aren't checked against any kind of record when you buy a pet.
• In case you think the RSPCA is too court-happy, only 1% of the calls to its national helpline results in prosecution. What's really interesting is that 98% of prosecutions brought by the RSPCA result in successful convictions. In comparison to the CPS, which quotes 80.7% (the inspector claimed a lower figure last night, which might have been for a different category of cases, can't remember), that's pretty freaking amazing, and brought about through honest, meticulous effort in by presenting their cases.
• The RSPCA can't do anything about stray dogs. That's the legal responsibility of local councils, who will still put a dog to sleep after 7 days if he or she is sick or injured.
• Unless an animal has been abandoned for a specified period, the RSPCA can't take him/her – or it's theft. (Taking and neutering someone's pet would be criminal damage!) This leads inspectors to farcical dances like putting tape over keyholes and cards in hinges to prove the owner hasn't returned, and feeding animals through letterboxes for a couple of days before they can be rescued.
• When it comes to proscutions the RSPCA takes the same line as mental health employees are advised to take when assaulted by their patients. Even though the offenders are often vulnerable people, the RSPCA will prosecute anyway, because it needs to be on record that this person is dangerous – and in cases of animal abuse, without necessarily apportioning blame, they absolutely should be prevented from keeping animals.
• A funny-horrific local story is going to hit the headlines later this month (subject to court proceedings). I'm not sure how much I should say, but it'll be notable for some oddities about the offender, as well as the sheer number of animals involved.

I didn't realise the RSPCA has an international section, and definitely didn't realise that each local division is a completely separate, individual charity, acting rather like a 'franchise' of the national charity. They work with the inspectorate (who are the national bit) but don't receive any funding from them (they have to raise it themselves), and have quite a bit of autonomy around the core RSPCA rules.

Which prompts me to include the local RSPCA in my payroll giving, now I know that's a separate thing from the national org…

My mother's come away with the idea of fostering pregnant queens, which is worrying. I took her there for the greater glory of DOGS WITH WHITE HAIRS ON THEIR MUZZLES, not PULSATING KITTY MOTHERSHIPS INCUBATING TINY KITTY-CLONES. Puppies I can appreciate; red panda cubs likewise melt my stony heart; newborn kittens are disgusting mewling wet things that might as well be human for all the appeal they hold for any right-thinking person.

Now here's a random video I found about recyclable cloth gift-wrapping. Like anything vaguely origami-ish, I find it both fascinating and completely incomprehensible. I just watched it happen, but how does it work?

Read the rest of this entry »

Goosebumps: The Barking Ghost by RL Stine
I've read this one already: it's a children's book, and not particularly noteworthy, but has an amusingly silly twist and a bonus shapeshifting angle. Not scary for me. (Goosebumps is a churned-out series of scary books aimed at young readers. I sorta admire Stine's ability to put out so many words.)

Ghost Dog by Eleanor Allen (Young Hippo Spooky)

The Dog who Knew Too Much by Carol Lea Benjamin
and A Hell of a Dog by Carol Lea Benjamin
(These are billed as "Canine Murder Mysteries", no joke; if these two are good I'll collect the rest)

Dogs (1976) horror film

The Ghost Dog by Pete Johnson

Ghost Dog by Dick Cate

My library, let me show you it.

Reviews shall come. At present I've almost finished reading Hellhound Magic, which deserves an entry to itself.