Dear sympathetic visitors. Clawsewitz here.

Over the last few weeks, I had got used to having my teeth felt every morning by hand. I had got used to the meat toothpaste being put on my mouth. I had got used to being shown the finger-mounted toothbrush and associating it with treats. BUT…

This morning all three were combined in a way I had not authorised!

Herm put paste on the finger brush and rubbed my teeth with it!

I miaowed twice in protest at this ignominy, but then Herm stopped and said Finished, so I calmed down because I know that that word means undignified procedures have stopped. Then Herm showed me the brush again and I got a treat twice for sniffing at it and being unconcerned because Finished had already happened. Then I got my breakfast at last!

These goings-on are very confusing and it was mysterious how well the whole thing went. It’s lucky I’m an exceptionally clever cat and already knew about tooth-feeling and paste and the brush, or I would have been distressed and blood would have spilled. It was also lucky that I was still waiting for breakfast, so was in a forgiving mood. It was also good that I got Dreamies because I love Dreamies so so much.

Don’t you think I’m so clever at training my human to give me treats?

General “Cleverest cat in the world” Clawsewitz

P.S. This all happened because some nurse (who was clearly a fraud because she put WET IN MY EARS) said I had gingervitis. Even though I am a tortie. Herm says I must have caught it from my common ginger daddy and not my tortie mummy. Anyway, the nurse said an adult cat probably wouldn’t tolerate tooth-brushing. Hah! She underestimated my ability to know all about things and be given treats! Herm is lucky to have me to train em about these things.

Here I am after suffering the immense indignity. WET was brutally forced into my ears and then cotton buds scraped them to death. I barely survived.